And Nothing Shall Offend Them

I love this talk! I loved it when it was given, and I love it now. My parents have always taught me that it I have the choice to be offended or not, and so when this talk was given it hit a tender spot in my heart. It reminded me of how grateful I am to have parents that I can trust and who are teaching me those things that are in accordance with gospel principles.
“To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” What a powerful statement that is! In this world that we live in it seems like there are so many different ideas and thoughts that are put upon us, and we are expected, by “the world,” to embrace those thoughts and to “accept” them because “that’s just the way things are.” However, realizing that we are our own agents, and that we have the capacity to think for ourselves, and to decide for ourselves how we will react to what others say and do, is a powerful and comforting bit of knowledge to remember.
As I read through this talk I thought about the conversation that we had in class about emotions and whether or not we can control our thoughts when certain stimuli are placed in our path. I feel like it was very inspired that James read the scripture about things to act and things to be acted upon. It seems that Elder Bednar would have agreed with James though since he said the following: “To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon.” I loved it that this talk could be related to our class discussion.
I especially loved the way that Elder Bednar talked about the church being a place for those who are striving for perfection and not “a well-provisioned rest home for the already perfected." It is comforting for me to occasionally remind myself that the church and all of its teachings are perfect; however, the people are not. We all want to do our best and to be our best, but we do live in a fallen world, and because of that we are going to make mistakes and we are going to come in contact with others who make mistakes. The challenge for us is to know how to deal with those mistakes, both those we make and those made by others.
This semester I am a Relief Society teacher, and so the part in Elder Bednar’s talk where he talks about an inexperienced teacher who can learn to become a better teacher as he teaches both those who are supportive learners and those who are inattentive learners, really stuck out to me. As I have tried to fulfill my calling it has been interesting to pay attention to each of the girls in my Relief Society class and to recognize the attitudes and stages of development that each of them have. After one of my lessons I was thinking back over something that I said, and I began feeling a bit discouraged, because as I thought about my statement I realized that it could possibly have been misunderstood and construed to be a negative comment, even though that was certainly not my intension. I still hope that my comment was not misunderstood. I think that while Elder Bednar’s talk did focus on not being offended by others, there is also a lesson there to be learned about being careful about what we say ourselves. It is important to think before we speak.
Another thing that I loved in this talk was that Elder Bednar talked about Brigham Young being Rebuked by the Prophet Joseph Smith. As I read that I was reminded of something that my mom read to me a few weeks ago about my great great great grandpa Archibald Gardner. He was at one time rebuked by Brigham Young. The following is what my mom read to me from the book The Life of Archibald Gardner and was an incident recorded by Brigham Young’s daughter Suzan Young Gates:
Her father, on some provocation, rebuked a bishop before a public gathering. That bishop was Archibald Gardner. After his scathing reproof he said “now, Bishop Gardner, I don’t want you to go and apostatize because of what I have said.” The Bishop Archibald arose and in a voice that could be heard two blocks away replied “Don’t worry Brother Brigham, this is my Fathers kingdom and I have just as much right in it as you have.” At this remark Brigham chuckled. While I am certainly not advocating raising our voices to the prophet, I do love what my great, great, great, grandpa said. The Lord loves each of us, and we all have just as much right to be a part of His kingdom and to receive the blessings that it has to offer as any other person on this earth. If we choose to be offended then we are cutting ourselves off from the wonderful blessings that could be ours. And, I am personally very grateful that Archibald did not get offended and leave the church over Brigham Young’s rebuke; if he had chosen to be offended, perhaps I would not have the blessings of the restored gospel in my life today.