Personal Challenge

This was a very good activity. I am kind of sad that I did it for an assignment rather than just doing it because it was a good thing to do though. I know this write-up is late, but I really did do the assignment when we did it as a class.


The person that I chose to really improve my listening skills with was my mom. I was surprised at how much room for improvement I had in that area. Sad day! It was easy right at first because I was excited to be a good listener, and my mom and I were getting along great. However, once there was any kind of friction or conflict between us, I slipped back into my old “I’m not listening” attitude. It was so frustrating! I found that listening is the hardest for me when there is any kind of conflict, as I’m sure it is with many other people too. I just tend to tune people out, get frustrated, and not want to listen or deal with the topic being discussed. I found that I also “tune people out” when they are talking about something I do not agree with.

I had a great experience doing this activity with my mom. One instance particularly stood out to me. My mom and I were sitting in our living room working on different activities. I knew that my mom had a lot on her mind and was feeling overwhelmed and worried about some family situations that we are dealing with in our family right now. And I could tell that she could use someone to talk to. I knew that I had a choice, I could either keep doing what I was doing or I could talk to my mom and give her someone to talk to. I decided to put my things down and talk/listen to her. At first when I asked her how she was doing she gave the regular answer that someone would give to my question, she gave a simple “I’m alright.” Then rather than saying “good” or going back to my work because “maybe she didn’t really want to talk,” I asked her more specific questions about how she was handling everything. That opened the conversation up, and my mom and I had an amazing conversation! I let her do most of the talking, and she had a lot that she wanted to talk about. It was a really great experience and I got to know a side of my mom that I had not really seen before. Or, I guess I have seen that side of her before, but it was one of the first times that I had allowed myself to listen enough to the feelings behind her words that I was able to connect with her on the level we connected on.

Since I am doing this write-up a little after the fact I have discovered something about listening. It’s something that I already knew, but something I do not do the best at remembering all the time. Even if a person listens really well and works really hard on a relationship for a time that does not mean that the relationship will stay in a really good place for very long. As soon as listening and working together to communicate well starts to slip and become less important, then the relationship is at risk of having some troubles. I also found this with my mom. When I was listening well, and doing my best to communicate well with her, things were good. But, as soon as I became selfish and was worried about myself and how I felt, and what I thought, that is when things became more complicated. I think that I get in the way of my own communication, far too often.

I am really going to continue to make a good effort to improve my communication skills, especially when it comes to listening, really listening. I am a rather quite person; I don’t like to talk a whole lot, unless I am in certain situations, with certain people, and because of that I do feel like I tend to be a better listener than some. But, this activity taught me that I still have a lot of room for improvement, in certain situations, and I am going to continue to work on that.