Recognizing your emotions

1. How did you recognize the emotions you felt: through physiological stimuli, nonverbal behaviors, or cognitive process?


It was sort of weird for me to try and recognize my own emotions. I usually try to push them out of the picture and just try to have a calm demeanor all the time, so this project was rather uncomfortable. I think I mainly recognized my emotions cognitively, but there were also nonverbal behaviors and physiological stimuli that helped me recognize them as well. For example, my brother called and was talking to my mom. He had called to talk and also to let their oldest child, my niece, share her awesome news that she had just lost her very first tooth. As my niece was talking to my mom, the excitement of my little niece was contagious and it came through and was projected on my mom as they talked to each other. As I listened to my mom’s side of the conversation, I realized that I had been smiling and even laughing a bit. Through my cognitive process I stopped and evaluated the nonverbal behaviors I was exhibiting, and concluded that my emotion was excitement. That was a fun one for me, because it also led me to recognize just how much I love and care about my little niece. Something as simple as a lost tooth was enough to totally brighten my day!

On the flip side, I was also able to occasionally recognize my emotions through physiological stimuli, but that happened most often when I was upset. I had just gotten a test back from one of my teachers when I realized the physiological stimuli for the first time during this assignment. As I looked over my test that had been handed back I began to realize that my face felt warm and that my heart was beating faster and that my mind was being drawn to very negative thoughts about my teacher and the way she teaches. When I noticed my warm face, fast heart beat, and negative thoughts, I realized that I was very angry… like, so angry I was almost furious… I don’t like feeling like that, so then I began feeling sad that I was angry. That was sort of an emotional day for the rest of the day.

2. Did you have any difficulty deciding which emotions you were feeling?

Yes, there were times when it was difficult for me to figure out what emotions I was feeling. The times that it was hardest for me to differentiate were when I was trying to decide whether I was feeling nervous or excited. I get those confused a lot. And I guess it is possible to experience them at the same time.

3. What emotions do you have most often? Are they primary or mixed? Mild or intense?

Unfortunately, this semester my emotions have been mostly negative ones, as I have realized through this activity. That is not a fun pill for me to swallow, but it’s true. I am normally a very happy and upbeat person but this semester I am letting things really drag me down. I most often feel hurried, exhausted, and cantankerous (I like that word). But, my emotions are also usually mixed. I think it is rare for me to experience just one dominant emotion, usually I am feeling more than one emotion at a time. For example, I am rarely angry without feeling confused or nervous as well. This morning as I was on my way to campus someone pulled out in front of me on the slick roads, I got really angry and even yelled out loud in my car, people could have said “she is angry” and they would have been right, but I was also very nervous! I didn’t want to get in a wreck.

4. In what circumstances do you or don’t you show your feelings? What factors influence your decision to show your feelings? The type of feeling? The person or persons involved? The situation (time, place)? The subject that the feeling involves?

I do not like to show my emotions in any situation where I feel threatened in any way. For me feeling threatened could be something as simple as feeling like the person would not understand my emotions, or would take them either too lightly or too seriously. I am really not very good at expressing my true deep feelings aloud. I knew that before, but doing this assignment reminded me of that. I am okay about expressing “safe emotions,” like I don’t have a hard time telling people (my parents and my friends mostly) when I am feeling upset about specific things that have happened to me, or when I am excited about something. But, even in those instances I can be a little guarded. My mom tells me I have a “push pull problem” that she can’t figure out. Sometimes I am open and will tell her things, but other times, I am usually masking my feelings and pushing her away. This is something I have really tried to work on, but it is difficult. I can’t figure out why I am so guarded, especially around my mom, she is the best and she is my best friend, and I always feel so good when I do talk to her. I guess I just like keeping my deep feelings to myself?

5. What are the consequences of the type of communicating you just described in step 4? Are you satisfied with these consequences? If not, what can you do to become more satisfied?

The consequences of the way I communicate my emotions are that I do not form strong attachments to people very easily. I do form strong attachments, but it takes me longer than I know it does for others. I am going to work on that by trying to be more open and expressive with those around me and especially with those I care about. To do this I know that I am going to just have to take a deep breath and open my mouth.
Wow, this write up makes me sound like a really messed up person!  I promise I am normally a very happy and truly satisfied person. And I do have friends! I’m not a recluse or anything! Expressing my emotions is just something I have been working on and trying to figure out for myself for the last little while, so I ended up using this write up as a way to try and decode information in my own brain! 